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In my new bestselling relationship advice book, "Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor's Guide to Lasting Love," I share all the secrets and guiding principles behind any possible reconciliation.Here are 12 key signs to look for in your ex's behavior while you're in contact with him. —Elyse, 25 We're both in our 30's - he ended the relationship initially because he wasn't looking for a serious relationship and I was. Social media and dating sites won’t do you much good if you’re over 30. And remaining pals may seem like the mature, evolved thing to do. She was on a ‘break’ from her shitty boyfriend (26/m)that made her unhappy. By the way… If possible, pull back from the hug and lean in for a kiss. Then, if you suggest meeting up again soon, she will be open to the idea of seeing you again. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. I'd appreciate any advice that anyone has on this! When in doubt, tell him things are going fine and move on to the next subject. Please keep in mind that the OP of this thread has chosen to mark this post with the [Serious] replies only tag, therefore any replies that are jokes, puns, off-topic, or are otherwise non-contributory will be removed. Find communities you're interested in, and become part of an online community! 6 Reasons Why Meeting Up For Coffee Is A Poor Excuse For A Date. It is because I hear, “What do I do if my ex has a next” that I make this specific eBook: “70 Pro Tips To Get Back With Your Ex” You’ll learn that radio silence isn’t the … Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. What should one expect? She agreed on that, and we arranged the meeting. I'm curious about how I should go about this. For example: When chatting to her on the phone and after getting her to smile and laugh for a bit, you can say, “Hey, we should catch up for a coffee sometime this to say hi.Of course, it’s not about us getting back together or anything like that. She is back home in the holidays from college/uni. share. It's going to sound weird, but dude! Once you've let your guards down, however, you may discover that one or both of you still harbors emotional wounds. This month marks two years since my ex and I have broken up, and it has taken me the entirety of those two years to realize I still love him. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. (I … This thread is archived. Imagine that you’re calling your ex up to ask her to meet up with you for a cup of coffee to say hello and have a chat in person. In New York in the 1970s, public parks where places where you could not only find a hot guy but bang him in the bushes too. Reddit is a network of communities based on people's interests. One of the best ways to ask an ex to hang out is by suggesting you and her catch up to say hi. He took your heart, threw it to the ground, stomped on it, and then took a sledgehammer to crush the remaining pieces to dust. Today i sent her a text, to ask her to meet me for coffee this week. Why would he […] save hide report. But you’ll want to have a quick coffee or hangout with your ex, because texting can only get you so far… to “seal the deal”, it’s typically necessary to meet your ex once or twice in person. Go for coffee and walk, and see what happens. She asked me if I wanted to catch up over coffee and I said yes. Key elements of this email to keep in mind: context, a specific ask, recognition of their time/gratefulness, limited time commitment, convenience, signaling you’ll provide value. Seeing your ex for the first time after breaking up feels like getting punched in the stomach. If your ex was a slacker, don't throw the new guy's fancy VP job in his face. She told me yesterday on the phone that she made plans to meet up with her ex for coffee/drinks or something. I already posted my story on this forum, i was with my ex-girlfriend for 13 years, she broke up 5 months ago. Hi there. What should one expect? Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. Press J to jump to the feed. We have been on LC for this whole time, have been together 3 or 4 times, always very amicable, but never touched the subject of our relationship. Cookies help us deliver our Services. Said she loved me then went back to ex. I have previously been upset by her going out with people she knows to have feelings for her one on one. While it might not matter so much (you’ve done it before, no surprises there), you don’t want it to be “the goal” of why he met you. Here’s the Reddit thread in full: My wife of 5 years had an affair with a co-worker last year. 100% Upvoted. That would obviously provide a few topics to discuss... need more info. Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion! What should you avoid? Why are you meeting her? tl;dr: My gf is going to go for drinks 1 on 1 with an ex. You’re excited, but also hesitant. Spending a few hours one afternoon across from the person you once gave your heart to, now older, wiser. All of a sudden, you go from ex’s to lovers again and it’s then a lot easier to transition to sex and then back into a … The best way to arrange this is to make sure you have a very good, legitimate-sounding reason to want to see your ex. It can be a bit jarring for someone else to receive an email out of the blue, so the more personalized yo… She was already pregnant with my child at the time. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the relationships community. Press J to jump to the feed. You can either use that phone conversation to spark some feelings of attraction and desire in her, or you can leave her feeling like she had a talk with a friend, a brother or an ex that she no longer has any romantic feelings for. In order to have more and more contact with you, he has to show that he is sincere. Your ex’s life or new relationship may seem flawless, but you don’t know what’s really going on. A kiss changes things pretty quickly. When I ask a girl to come home with me from the bar, I assume she knows I want to make out with her. Meeting an ex over coffee can be stressful. Sometimes it can also be helpful to let your ex know the ways they've hurt you. Like the title says, I have been with my gf for 10 months. Question: I ran into my ex and she’s even more beautiful than when we were dating.We had a mutual breakup so there were no bad feelings between us. How about DON'T meet them? By T. April 15, 2015. What should you avoid? However, there are certain approaches that will spark a woman’s feelings and make her feel happy to be meeting up with her ex, and some that will cause her to think, “Is this guy for real? If you can show your ex that you’re able to keep your cool and that you’re more attentive, you’re completing the first step to meeting their expectations, and you’ll be sending a strong message. You never thought it would, but it did. He's receptive to this meetup, but I'm not sure how interested he is in developing or continuing a friendship after this. Make sure you know what that person has been up to and what his or her current work entails before you send that “Hey, what’s up?” email. After your name and zip code the next registration question is always your age (date of birth) and then they plaster your age right below your photo. I’m sure the baby is mine, because I discovered all of their chat logs and pieced together a timeline. Meeting an ex over coffee can be stressful. Here’s how I’d ask a business development badass I’d want to meet for coffee. It happened. She is back home in the holidays from college/uni. City parks were once the cruising grounds for gay men. Your ex boyfriend reached out to you and he wants to meet up. Definitely do NOT do that. They aren't really good friends any more, I'd say that they were more cordial. The going too fast to no good is if this is your first face to face meeting and you end up heavy making-out or even having sex. Persuading an ex to meet up with you for coffee isn’t as difficult as some guys might think. How to Ask to For a Coffee Meeting. Understandably, you want to reach out, but before you press that “Send” button, do your research. What should you talk about? That said, meeting for coffee at a hotel bar has potential for an interesting outcome. I have previously been upset by her going out with people she knows to have feelings for her one on one. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Attention! It seems weird to me to be spending time with him like this, she works in the same place as him, although in a slightly different department. It's a nice thought: having coffee with your ex lover. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. Make sure your ex and you aren't still hurting. But attempting to forge a friendship before you’re ready can do more harm than good. According to Bennett, there's no way to predict how your ex will feel post-breakup, so it's best to prepare yourself for an underwhelming reaction. After a breakup, you may be tempted to try to be friends with your ex.You still care about this person, after all. Deep-rooted feelings of betrayal and heartbreak can take time to emerge. Meeting at the Bar and Going Home Together Means the Same Thing It Does in the Movies. The person whose ex you are meeting, or whom you're currently seeing when you meet the ex, will not, I repeat not, understand the importance of the sartorial decision. If you see others posting comments that violate this tag, please report them to the mods! We just talked about what we have both been up to, laughed at some old time stories and generally had a great time. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Ageism is a real problem in meeting people and I confess I’m as irrationally age prejudiced as the next guy. The next day I moved away. She told me yesterday on the phone that she made plans to meet up with her ex for coffee/drinks or something. Sort by. What should you talk about? When your ex girlfriend reaches out after a long time of no contact, the emotions come back, old passions flare, and your brain starts spinning around wondering what the heck you should do. That said, “communication” doesn’t mean that all topics are fair game when you’re talking to your ex … 8 comments. Generation-Y: We are the Millennials, the Hook-Up Generation and, most recently, The Coffee Date Generation. The wind gets knocked out of you. I'll be meeting up with an ex this weekend for coffee. Like the title says, I have been with my gf for 10 months. I’m here to tell you that this is a BIG opportunity for you …and it’s something you shouldn’t ruin. In this way, remaining friends — or friendly — with an ex can serve as a kind of time capsule. Initial interactions with your ex can be tense, but, with luck, this will soon give way to cordial politeness. Give her ultimatum over this, This is cheating. I(34/m) hooked up with a girl (28/f)I work with last summer before moving away. We also have a 2-year-old son. So you notice that an old acquaintance you have not been in touch with for years has your dream job. 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